At this time, vision in my left eye is hovering around 20/40, while my right eye seems to have reached about 20/30. While not the highly coveted 20/20 vision, this result is dramatically better than before the surgeries, where vision in my right eye was maybe 20/50 (on a good day), and my left eye was worse than 20/70 (yes, that bad! I could read the big "E" at the top of the Snellen chart and also the next line down, but after that, everything was turning to fog). The doctor says I probably can't expect better than 20/30 until after we address the cataracts.
Even so, I am absolutely thrilled with the progress so far. I am seeing the textures on tree trunks, the shapes of individual leaves and blades of grass, even the dust I missed while cleaning the house. I can read books without a magnifying glass. I can see drawings and paintings on the walls that I have not seen clearly in years. Colors are more vibrant, and I am definitely seeing a fuller range of contrast (whereas lights and darks were previously grayed down).
I am still trying to process the impact of my vision problems on my art. I have been collecting my thoughts and planning to write about how my drawing habits changed as the Fuchs Dystrophy progressed. I will post those thoughts when I'm ready.
About 2 weeks ago, I underwent DMEK (partial thickness
cornea transplant) surgery on my right eye. The surgery was successful, but
there were some issues following the surgery, so I held off
writing this update until I was sure my eye was OK.
At this point, I have undergone cornea transplants in each
eye, so I have some basis of comparison, and I better understand that there can
be a range of experiences among cornea transplant patients. The biggest
difference between my 1st and 2nd surgery experiences is
that I have more distinct memories of the first surgery (as documented in my
earlier blog post). With the second surgery, I seem to have lost consciousness
until it was all over. I do remember arriving early at the surgical center. I
remember the nurses preparing me for surgery. I remember chatting with the
anesthesiologist, but he did not start applying the anesthetic until after I
was inside the OR (compared to last time, when I was already fading in and out
of consciousness as they wheeled me into the OR). This time, I was wide awake
as they wheeled into the OR, and I remember thinking, “Oh no, did they forget
to numb me?” I remember being inside the OR and being much more aware of sounds
and what the room looked like (compared to my last experience where everything
seemed to be lost in bright lights and fog). From somewhere out of my sight, a
music player began playing some pop music. I remember looking up and seeing the
face of the anesthesiologist, who seemed to be enjoying the music. Then I
remember looking at bright lights. From this point forward, I have no memory,
until I heard my doctor’s voice saying, “That’s it. We’re done.” I remember
being surprised that it was over so quickly. I have no memories of the surgery
itself. (This was mildly disappointing, as I was hoping to compare what I saw
with my previous observations of eye surgery from the patient’s point of view –
but I was very relieved it was over!)
Following the surgery, I was sent home with instructions to
lie down, facing up. This is so that an air bubble in my eye would push the
transplant graft up against the back of my cornea. The next day, I went back to
the doctor for my fist post-op visit; the eye patch was removed, computer scans
of my eyes were performed, and my vision was tested. I was pleasantly surprised
that vision in my right eye was not as bad as I expected (compared to last time
when I was almost totally blind in my left eye following surgery). I learned
that the reason my vision was so bad last time is that the doctor had used an
“aggressive air bubble” (meaning higher air pressure) to hold the graft in
place at the back of my cornea. This time, the graft was attaching right away,
so the air bubble was “less aggressive”. Hence, my vision was comparatively
better this time around (this was something that concerned me my after the
previous surgery: everything I had read about DMEK suggested my vision would be
“blurrier than normal” for a few days – not almost totally blind). With the
graft fully attaching from day one, I seemed to be well on my way to a speedy recovery.
However, my vision began to worsen over the next couple days,
and I noticed redness – even brownness - around my right eye. To make matters
worse, about 2 days after the surgery I read an email notification (which had
been sent the day of surgery but I hadn’t yet read it) which stated that a lab
test of the donor tissue yielded the results: “rare white blood cells” and
“gram stain positive cocci”. I looked up these terms; the news was not good.
These results likely meant infection and probably redoing the surgery.
Fortunately, on my next visit to the doctor, I learned that the lab test had
been taken from the rim of the donor tissue, but was not a culture of my eye. In
fact, my cornea seemed to be healing nicely. Much relieved by this good news, I
went home feeling better.
Nevertheless, the vision in my right eye continued to worsen
over the next few days – but this wasn’t the “ghostly fog” I experienced
previously, this was more like looking through a Gaussian blur filter in
Photoshop. My eye became increasingly reddish, itchy and was constantly
tearing. Knowing these were signs of potential graft rejection or infection, I
returned to the doctor fearing the worst. Well, it turned out that my eye had
become too dry following the surgery, and the top surface of my cornea had
become irritated or inflamed. While this condition was uncomfortable, it was
actually very good news (no graft rejection and no redoing the surgery). The solution was simple: moisturizing eye drops. Over the next
few days, the itchiness went away and my vision improved.
At the forth post-op visit, the doctor removed the suture
(he used only one for this surgery, but its removal resulted in some additional
irritation and tearing over the next few hours). He confirmed the graft
transplant is fully attached and my cornea is healing nicely. My vision is
improving.
One more difference in this surgery compared to last: the doctor placed this transplant graft slightly above my center of vision
in order to avoid an area of corneal scarring. He said this might take a little
longer for my vision to recover, but it meant less chance of graft
rejection.
Today, the vision is my right eye is still blurry, but significantly better than it was before the surgery. I will post more eye updates
as my vision improves. I also want to post some thoughts on how the loss of
vision was impacting my life and my artwork.
This will be my last eye update before undergoing DMEK
cornea transplant on my right eye (see my post on my left eye DMEK here). I post this
info in hopes of encouraging those struggling with Fuchs Corneal Dystrophy and other eye problems.
My current situation is a mix of good and bad news.
Following the DMEK on my left eye, my vision in that eye was getting dramatically better, but then stopped improving, and actually started to get
just a bit worse (although still vastly improved compared to before surgery).
The doctor believes this regression is due to my cataracts growing worse, and I
might possibly be developing keratoconus (thinning of the cornea). Typically, patients
with cataracts and Fuchs Dystrophy are treated with a double surgery: cornea
transplant + cataract surgery combined. But my cataracts were so mild that
the doctor recommended we do the DMEK first and then address the cataracts later
(probably years down the road, or so we thought at the time). But recently the
cataracts have worsened much faster than expected and will need to be addressed
sooner rather than later. The keratoconus is new, and hopefully can be treated
with contact lenses designed to support weakened corneas. The plan for now is
to just get through the next DMEK surgery (and subsequent recovery process), and
then address the cataracts and keratoconus.
The good news is that all of my eye problems are treatable;
it’s just that the road to anything resembling a full visual recovery will take longer than
expected. I hope to document my recovery process here on this blog, and share
any info that might be helpful to those suffering with eye problems.
. . . . .
One caveat to Fuchs Dystrophy sufferers: don’t wait too long
to do the cornea surgeries. The longer you wait, the more chance of permanently
scaring your corneas. My first doctor thought it was too soon to do the cornea
transplants, so I put it off… and then I put it off some more… I waited almost
slightly too long, and now I may have some mild cornea scarring in each eye even after successful DMEK surgeries. Fortunately, it’s not bad
enough to significantly impact my vision too much, but I do wish I had done the
surgeries a bit sooner.
About 5 years ago, I built “The Odysseus Machine”, a desktop
PC for my animation/illustration work. I named my computer Odysseus after that
great wanderer of Greek Mythology, but also for the unmanned spacecraft
Odysseus (later renamed Ulysses) which was launched in 1990 on a highly unusual
trajectory to the Sun. I think that describes my path in life: "a highly
unusual trajectory".
The Odysseus Machine was probably over-equipped for my needs,
but I don’t upgrade often; I tend to buy the best thing I can afford at the
time and then use it for as many years as I can get away with. Below is a partial
spec list (for a more complete parts list with descriptions, see my build on
PCpartpicker).
CPU: i9 9900k - I primarily use Photoshop, which doesn’t
really use more than 8 cores, so at the time, this was probably the best CPU
you could buy for Photoshop.
GPU: Nvidia RTX 2080ti with 11GB of DDR6 VRAM – Overkill for
Photoshop, but great for running multiple 4K monitors and occasional video
editing.
RAM: 128GB DDR4 3200 CL16 – This is way more RAM than anyone
really needs unless you are making your own Avengers Movie on your desktop, but
too much RAM is better than too little.
Storage: 30 TB - includes 2 NVMe SSD drives (2TB each), 2
SATA SSD drives (4TB each), and 1 HDD (18TB). The OS is installed on one of the
NVMe drives, while the other is for current projects. The SATA SSDs serve as a
library and a place to store finished projects, while the 18TB HHD serves as
backup/archives. In years past, I had to delete files to save drive space, but
that is not an issue with this build.
Monitors: Wacom Cinitiq Pro 24” touch screen (on which I draw and paint), above it is an LG 27” HDR 4K
monitor (I place reference material here), and off to the side is a smaller, older monitor (here I run programs to monitor CPU/GPU temps, hard drives, etc.) Even further to the
right is the much older Commodore monitor
(from 1985 and it still works!). This one is not attached to my PC. It’s
connected to a VCR/DVD player, on which I can play older video reference.
Finally, I must confess that I went crazy overboard with the RGB
lighting. I lost all sense of practicality here, but it was lots of fun
building and figuring out how to make everything work. I think the final
results are quite entertaining.
Below are photos of the build in progress. First: the obligatory “parts showcase” with all the
parts in their colorful boxes.
Next, early stage of the build in-progress: Originally, I had a GSkill 1250w PSU, but it was going bad, so later I replaced it with a Thermaltake 850w (which is plenty of power for my needs).
First "power on" test to make sure everything is working
so far. No operating system installed yet. “Cable management” is a total mess
at this point, but at least it works!
Installing the GPU (video card). I first tried
horizontal orientation, before changing to a vertical mount.
Next photos: GPU is now vertically mounted. The AIO fans
have been moved to the front of the radiator, and an additional 2 case fans are
now attached to the back of the radiator (partial "Push/Pull" configuration). While removing the radiator, I installed an extra two case fans on the side panel/motherboard tray. This makes a total of 8 case fanes + 3 radiator fans. If you include the 3 fans on the GPU, that is a total of 14 fans running in this build.
“Cable management” is an art form unto itself (and I am no
expert), but I routed most of the cables around the back side of the case, and
stored as many loose ends as possible under the PSU shroud. In this view, you can see the additional 2 case fans added to the back of the motherboard tray (I was concerned they might interfere with airflow, but it turns out the added fans actually help keep temps down a bit). Also in this view, you can see the Samsung SSDs (4TB each) plus the spinning hard drive (18TB) - plenty of storage. Lastly, I added an RGB hub to control the lighting.
The Odysseus Machine has been running for 5 years now, and I've gotten quite a lot of work done on it. Here is a short video showing off the RGB lighting effects.
Years ago, I helped to design an online class for which I wrote some material on how artists get ideas - especially for creating images from imagination. Below, I have rewritten some of that material and added more recent sketches to illustrate my process for “ideation”
-- the exploration and development of ideas.
So... where do artists get their ideas? Many great minds have attempted to address this question, yet definitive answers elude us - the late
Harlan Ellison hilariously claimed to use an idea service in Schenectady. But
seriously, there are techniques that can help you find and develop your own
ideas. Below are some of my suggestions for ideation.
The Act of Sketching
Ideas may begin with doodles in sketchbooks, on pieces of
typing paper, or even on a napkin in a restaurant. When sketching, let your
imagination run wild. Sketch out any idea, no matter how crazy. You can decide
later what works and what doesn't. Keep sketches very rough and loose. You might
have many false starts before finding something that works. The important thing
to understand is that the very act of sketching itself can generate new ideas.
There may be a universe of new ideas out there waiting to be discovered, but
you will never find them until you set pencil to paper and explore. Below are
some doodles from my sketchbooks. These are quite rough and crude, but
this is how many of my ideas often start.
Have you ever looked at clouds and imagined faces in them? Our imaginations have an amazing capacity to find order in
chaos. Visualizing things in random shapes is another technique for generating
ideas. Try sketching random lines and shapes on paper, and then try to
"see" creatures or landscapes within them.
Start with random lines and shapes
Now try to develop something from your random shapes
Ideas That Don't Work
If your sketching doesn't seem to be leading anywhere, don't
get frustrated. Sometimes ideas that don't work will lead to ideas that do. In designing Russia for the Reversed Front: Bonfire game, my initial sketches featured a cityscape with Soviet architecture, but it felt like something was missing. These just weren't working for me.
In playing around with the Steampunk elements, I stumbled onto the idea of using spider-like shapes, and the environment design really took off from there. In terms of
concept, I think this turned into one of my more successful ideas for the Reversed
Front Game (see the finished version of Russia here). It just needed the right twist, but I don't think I could have arrived at the final result without working through the early less-successful stages.
Feeding Your Imagination
In my opinion, one of the best efforts to explain the
genesis of ideas can be found in Alan Moore’s essay on writing comics. I won’t restate
his words here (but I highly recommend you read his essay for yourself). I’ll just
give my own spin on Moore’s advice: ideas seem to happen at an intersection
where the objective world around you collides with your own subjective or
emotional responses to the world. Each of us has our own unique inner response
to life, but we also need broader life experience to fertilize our imaginations so
that our ideas can grow. In years past, I have advised students to feed their
imaginations by doing research and finding references, by visiting libraries
and bookstores; you might read or see something that inspires you, perhaps
something that leads you to more ideas (or better ideas). Also visit museums,
zoos, historic sites, or places with interesting views and architecture. These
places are gold mines of inspiration for artists. Take along a sketchbook and a
camera to record your impressions, as well as details that may be useful as
reference later. Above all, go out and experience the world for yourself. I believe that research, reference, and life experience
provide raw fuel on which imagination runs.
Art students sometimes ask me about my artistic influences (i.e.:
which artists have most influenced me), and also which artists I would
recommend for aspiring artists to study (or look to for inspiration). It’s very
difficult to even put together such lists, because there are just too many
names. The list below is doomed to incompletion, and the omission of any artist
should not be taken as a sign that I don’t hold said artist in high esteem. At very
least, this list may serve as a starting point for anyone looking for
inspiration. Also, these names are not in any particular order, but it's safe to say these are my biggest artistic influences.
Early Illustrators (or "Golden Age Illustrators", 19th Century through mid 20th Century)
Franklin Booth
Charles Dana Gibson
Alphonse Mucha
J.C. Leyendecker
Dean Cornwell
Robert McGinnis
Albert Dorne
James Bama
Normal Rockwell
More Recent Illustrators (mid to late 20th Century forward)
Syd Mead
Frank Frazetta
Drew Struzan
Iain Mccaig
Thomas Blackshear
Illustrators who wrote influential books/materials on drawing:
Andrew Loomis
Arthur Guptill
Robert Fawcett
James Gurney
Jeff Watts (not so much his books, but his online atelier program
and video lectures)
Comic Book/Comic Strip Artists (some of these were illustrators
but I place them in this category because their comic work/inking technique
influenced me more than their illustration work)
Alex Raymond
Hal Foster
John Buscema
Wally Wood
Bernie Wrightson
Al Williamson
Alex Toth
Alex Nino
Artists/Painters (this list is woefully incomplete, but
these names first come to mind as having had the biggest impact on me over the
years).
William-Adolphe
Bouguereau
Nicolia Fechin
Ilya Repin
Jean-Baptiste Greuze
Diego Velasquez
John Singer Sargent
Michelangelo
Leonardo da Vinci
Gian Lorenzo Bernini
Again, this list is very incomplete, and very likely, I will
revise it at some point, but for now (off the top of my head) these
names have been the biggest influences on how I draw, and how I think about
art.
This is an eye update for almost 2½ months post DMEK cornea transplant surgery on my left eye (see my previous posts about my experience with Fuchs Dystrophy and DMEK here and here). I have attempted to show
my current state of vision with this diagram. Vision in my left eye is
dramatically improved, but I still have a slight double vision effect. Otherwise,
I am able to see details and textures that I have not seen in quite a few years.
Colors are brighter and more vivid. My right eye has not yet had cornea
transplant, so vision remains blurred, with images fading out as illustrated on
the right side in this diagram.
I am able to read fine print again without resorting to a magnifier.
Also, I am getting back to drawing on actual paper (as opposed to drawing on a
Wacom screen where I can enlarge everything 200x). I am absolutely thrilled to be getting back to
things which I had to set aside as the Fuchs Dystrophy progressed. However, my
left eye is doing all of the work right now, and I still get this haze coming
in from my right side. I look forward to the second cornea transplant which is
scheduled for next month.
