Eye Update: One Year After My First Cornea Transplant

One year ago, I underwent my first cornea transplant (lefteye). Four months later, I went in for my second transplant (right eye). I really hoped that by now I would be enjoying crisp, clear vision. That hasn’t quite happened – but there has been real progress.

On the bright side, the thick fog is gone. My vision is dramatically better – especially when viewing things close up: fine details, textures, small print, all things that eluded me a year ago. Distance vision, however, is still a problem: street signs, grocery store isle markers, café menu boards remain difficult to read. I still see strong halos around lights, and there is a persistent double vision effect (especially in my right eye).

At my last doctor visit, my cornea transplants were healthy and working perfectly (no problems there). However, cataracts have developed in each eye at a faster pace than my doctor anticipated. The doctor recommends holding off on cataract surgery for at least a year or more following the cornea transplants. Also, my doctor believes another issue may be impacting my vision: dry eyes (i.e.: when the surface of the eye not properly hydrated, it can cause a scuffed, hazy effect). Actually this is good news, since the solution is non-surgical; the doctor recommends artificial tears for now, and these do seem to help.

Despite the ups and downs, I am feeling grateful. Of all the eye problems one could have, Fuchs dystrophy and cataracts are more manageable, especially compared to more serious issues like glaucoma or retinal detachment. Still, it does feel like I am living in a holding pattern: my vision is currently hovering around 20/40 in my left eye, and worse in my right eye; good enough to pass an eye exam at the DMV, but not quite good enough for me to catch the subtleties of someone’s facial expression across a coffee shop. I was hoping to resume my practice of café sketching, but alas… the café sketches will probably have to wait until after cataract surgery. 

In the meanwhile, I am happy to be drawing with pencil on paper again (in previous posts, I noted that my vision had deteriorated to the point where I couldn’t even see well enough to draw in a sketchbook). Here below is my most recent sketchbook page. I used the Blackwing 602 as well as the Tombow pencils (both are favorite pencils of mine), plus blending stumps and kneaded eraser. For the airbrushed version at the top of this post, I scanned my drawing and painted it in Photoshop. For the future, I am thinking of doing a lager, airbrushed version of this drawing, maybe using it as the basis for a finished painting.

Eye Update: Seeing Faces

“How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?” 

- C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces

Since my last update, vision in my left eye is slightly improved (I can almost read the 20/30 line on the Snellen chart), but vision in right eye has become worse (double vision effect most likely due to the cataract).

But the most startling development since my cornea transplants is that I can see faces again, especially the subtleties of facial expressions. As my Fuchs Dystrophy progressed, I stopped seeing faces – all I could see were blurry spots where eyes, noses and mouths should be. Subtleties of facial expression were completely lost on me. Then, about a month or so after the first cornea transplant, I was startled by faces at the grocery store, coffee shop, and around town. Seeing a furrowed brow, an eyeroll, a quizzical look, or a smile – something most of us take for granted – was a novelty to me, a pleasant, and much welcome, surprise. I feel as though I’ve been missing out on a vital dimension of life.

In spite of the progress, my vision is still not good enough to resume my old practice of café sketching (I’ve tried but I need to see at least a certain level of detail in order to capture a likeness or personality in a café setting), so I have resorted to sketching from photographs. The above page was sketched from photos taken years ago of neighborhood kids (back when I was an illustration student trying to build a reference library of poses). I haven’t drawn faces in a while, and certainly not in a sketchbook like this. I am struggling to draw hands, and I don’t feel this page has the energy of café sketches executed on location, but I need to start somewhere. This page was sketched with a BLACKWING 602, a pencil I started using while working at DreamWorks long ago. Drawing with pencil on paper again takes me back to my childhood, and remembering why I wanted to be an artist in the first place. 

Sketchbook Studies of Trees

Now that I am able to draw in a sketchbook again (and actually see what I am doing), I am picking up one of my favorite media: colored pencil on toned paper. I really like the look of burnt sienna plus white on this paper. Studies of trees from around the Lake Tahoe area.

Drawing Kung Fu

As my vision heals and I am able to see fine lines on paper again, I have started drawing with Prismacolor pencils, a medium I love for sketching. My figure drawing skills are rusty, so I am practicing the figure manikin exercises from the Watts Atelier online program. In the online program, students draw using a number of manikins, but my favorite is the skeletal manikin. Jeff Watts did some wonderful demos featuring martial arts poses with this manikin, and I am taking my inspiration from there, although the skeletal manikin I am using here is more based on the one taught by Karl Gnass in his classes at the American Animation Institute many years ago. Perhaps I’ve modified it a bit to fit my own tastes, but I love using this manikin for action poses, especially martial arts. I used to practice martial arts many years ago, especially Tae Kwon Do, but my art career didn’t leave a lot of time for martial arts practice. Nevertheless, I like to pretend that I wield the pencil in the same spirit as the samurai wielding the sword, the mind totally focused at the point where the pencil touches the paper. For inspiration, I have dug up my old martial arts books from the 1980’s and used them as reference for these sketches. Great fun drawing on actual paper again!

Eye Update: Drawing Unplugged

My most recent trip to the doctor’s office yielded mixed news. The good news is that my vision remains much better than it was prior to the cornea transplants. However, as noted in my last post, the cataracts are getting worse. Also, I learned about another factor possibly contributing to my current blurry vision: the eye undergoes changes as a result of the healing process after surgery, the surface of the eye is changing, sort of re-shaping itself, and vision can be unstable for a while. In spite of blurry vision, I can see well enough to draw in a sketchbook again. The above page was sketched on paper with an ink pen. I haven’t been able to work in a small sketchbook like this (and actually see what I’m doing) for quite some time. 

Some folks are curious as to how I managed to continue making art as my vision degraded, so here are some thoughts on living as an artist with Fuchs Dystrophy: the Fuchs progresses so slowly over years of your life that you just sort of adapt to it, making compromises little by little, until you are living in a daily fog and the fog just seems normal. As the Fuchs progressed, I started using a magnifying glass to read. Eventually the magnifying glass wasn’t enough, I adapted to reading “e-books” on my iPad or computer screen. I bought a large print keyboard for my computer so that I could see the keys.

As an artist who loves detail, I was most frustrated by the impact of Fuchs on my drawing; I stopped drawing in sketchbooks and started working on large drawing pads at my easel. I stopped going to the figure drawing sessions, or drawing portraits from live models (this is a startling admission from someone who dedicated years of his life to drawing from live models with almost religious zeal). For a time, I would try to sit up closer to the model stand (but then you risk blocking the view of the other artists). Eventually, I just gave up on life drawing altogether.

Since most of my income has come from animation background work created on a computer screen, it was easy to resort to digital art: the high contrast of the computer screen allowed me to see details much better, and the ability to endlessly edit my work was a temptation I couldn’t (still can’t) resist. I purchased a Wacom Cintiq 18x24” touch screen, on which I can enlarge drawings as much as needed. The Cintiq became my primary “canvas” for the past several years. I finished many animation backgrounds on it, as well as demos for students in my online classes.

My work area with animation backgrounds for ABC Mouse

During this time, I also purchased an iPad, and began learning ProCreate. Even with the smaller screen, the high contrast allows me to see details better. Add the ability to quickly enlarge sections of a drawing with “pinch and zoom”, plus the opportunity to endlessly edit my work, not to mention, organize and store multitudes of sketches where I can find them when needed… and I was seduced by the iPad. It soon replaced my sketchbook. Nearly all of my work for the past 5 years has been digital: I typically start with ideation sketches on the iPad, while finished works have been completed on the Cintiq.

As my vision heals, I am breaking out the traditional media again, rediscovering the tactile feel of ink pen on paper, or charcoal on newsprint. I am also struggling with my lack of practice in these media in recent years, which forces me to an uncomfortable realization: digital media can make us lazy. Traditional media can be unforgiving - you can’t endlessly “undo” mistakes or radically rework your composition in the final stages of a drawing (at least not without destroying what you have already done). I think this becomes a crutch for digital artists - we come to rely on easy solutions which the digital media provides. There is a term in art known as the “resistance of the medium” which entails the obstacles one must overcome to create art. For example, stone is hard and immalleable, so the sculptor must develop strong, skillful hands to meet the challenge. Ink cannot be erased, so the artist learns to be decisive with each stroke of the pen. Watercolor can be unpredictable, so the painter learns to be spontaneous, improvising with the flow of the water. I think these obstacles help shape our art, and force us to grow as artists. We learn from the struggle. Digital art tends to take away this struggle. 

One the other hand, it’s possible that digital media may be opening doors in making art in a way that recalls the impact of Gutenberg’s press on drawing during the High Renaissance. The printing press created a need for mass produced paper. As paper became less expensive and more readily available, artists like Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo experimented with composition, exploring variations of figurative arrangements that just weren’t done when paper was rare. Renaissance pictorial composition became more daring, and drawing was elevated from a preparatory stage of painting to an art form until itself.

Could digital media have this kind of impact? I don’t know, but I can say that the opportunity to make changes to a painting - such as radically alter the color scheme late in the process, or resize/move things around, and save work at multiple stages so you don’t risk losing everything – has prompted me to try things I probably wouldn’t have tried when painting in acrylics or oils. For example, I’ve tried color combinations which I would have avoided previously, and I’ve completely reworked compositions in ways I probably wouldn’t have dared while working in graphite. For better or worse, digital media has enabled me to achieve the results seen in my recent portfolio pieces.

In any case, I am getting back to traditional media now and drawing unplugged. I’m enjoying the feel of the ink pen or brush on paper. Most of all, I’m enjoying making art without having to look into the glare of a computer screen.

Where Do Artists Get Their Ideas?

Years ago, I helped to design an online class for which I wrote some material on how artists get ideas - especially for creating images from imagination. Below, I have rewritten some of that material and added more recent sketches to illustrate my process for “ideation” -- the exploration and development of ideas.

So... where do artists get their ideas? Many great minds have attempted to address this question, yet definitive answers elude us - the late Harlan Ellison hilariously claimed to use an idea service in Schenectady. But seriously, there are techniques that can help you find and develop your own ideas. Below are some of my suggestions for ideation.

The Act of Sketching

Ideas may begin with doodles in sketchbooks, on pieces of typing paper, or even on a napkin in a restaurant. When sketching, let your imagination run wild. Sketch out any idea, no matter how crazy. You can decide later what works and what doesn't. Keep sketches very rough and loose. You might have many false starts before finding something that works. The important thing to understand is that the very act of sketching itself can generate new ideas. There may be a universe of new ideas out there waiting to be discovered, but you will never find them until you set pencil to paper and explore. Below are some doodles from my sketchbooks. These are quite rough and crude, but this is how many of my ideas often start.

See more of my sketches from imagination here.

Finding Order in Chaos

Have you ever looked at clouds and imagined faces in them? Our imaginations have an amazing capacity to find order in chaos. Visualizing things in random shapes is another technique for generating ideas. Try sketching random lines and shapes on paper, and then try to "see" creatures or landscapes within them.

Start with random lines and shapes

Now try to develop something from your random shapes

Ideas That Don't Work

If your sketching doesn't seem to be leading anywhere, don't get frustrated. Sometimes ideas that don't work will lead to ideas that do. In designing Russia for the Reversed Front: Bonfire game, my initial sketches featured a cityscape with Soviet architecture, but it felt like something was missing. These just weren't working for me.

In playing around with the Steampunk elements, I stumbled onto the idea of using spider-like shapes, and the environment design really took off from there. In terms of concept, I think this turned into one of my more successful ideas for the Reversed Front Game (see the finished version of Russia here). It just needed the right twist, but I don't think I could have arrived at the final result without working through the early less-successful stages.

Feeding Your Imagination

In my opinion, one of the best efforts to explain the genesis of ideas can be found in Alan Moore’s essay on writing comics. I won’t restate his words here (but I highly recommend you read his essay for yourself). I’ll just give my own spin on Moore’s advice: ideas seem to happen at an intersection where the objective world around you collides with your own subjective or emotional responses to the world. Each of us has our own unique inner response to life, but we also need broader life experience to fertilize our imaginations so that our ideas can grow. In years past, I have advised students to feed their imaginations by doing research and finding references, by visiting libraries and bookstores; you might read or see something that inspires you, perhaps something that leads you to more ideas (or better ideas). Also visit museums, zoos, historic sites, or places with interesting views and architecture. These places are gold mines of inspiration for artists. Take along a sketchbook and a camera to record your impressions, as well as details that may be useful as reference later. Above all, go out and experience the world for yourself. I believe that research, reference, and life experience provide raw fuel on which imagination runs.